We should try to know and improve ourselves first, before we try to know someone else and expect that person to know us. We humans are easy to judge the mistakes of others but find it difficult to recognize our own.

The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment, not love. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment as we learn from the following narrative.

No one falls in love by choice, only by chance. No one stays in love by chance, only with hard work. No one falls out of love by chance only by choice! -Unknown

A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. A wonderful time was had by all. The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.

A few months later, the wife came to the husband with a proposal: "I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage." she offered.

"Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together."

The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with. The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists. 

"I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it. Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husbands eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep reading your list."  

The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.

"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists." She said happily.

Quietly the husband stated, "I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don't want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you."

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.  

In life, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them. We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?

We are happiest when we see and praise the good and try our best to forget the bad. Nobody's perfect but we can find perfectness in them to change the way we see them. We are not trying to condone what is bad. Correction does much, but encouragement does more. "The blue of heaven is larger than the clouds."

By Tim Pedrosa 

 

Accepting others unconditionally allows them to remove their masks and feel at ease with who they are. The security of being accepted gives them the freedom to be themselves and then lets them easily know and accept themselves too. ~unknown

Tim