We should try to know and improve
ourselves first, before we try
to know someone
else and expect that person to know us. We humans are
to judge the mistakes of others but find it difficult to recognize our own.
The most important, most critical
component in successful loving is commitment, not love. And the greatest
indicator of deep love is deep commitment as we learn from the following
No one falls in love by
choice, only by chance. No one stays in love by chance, only with
hard work. No one falls out of love by chance only by
A man and his
girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and
family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and
celebrations. A wonderful time was had by all. The bride was gorgeous in her
white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone
could tell that the love they had for each other was true.
A few months later,
the wife came to the husband with a proposal: "I read in a magazine, a while
ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage." she offered.
"Each of us will
write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person.
Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier
The husband agreed.
So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things
that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest
of the day and wrote down what they came up with. The next morning, at the
breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.
offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it. Enough to fill
3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she
noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husbands eyes.
"What's wrong?" she
asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep reading your list."
The wife continued
to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her
list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.
"Now, you read your
list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists." She said
Quietly the husband
stated, "I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way
that you are. I don't want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and
wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you."
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others
judge us by what we have already done. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The wife, touched by
his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned
her head and wept.
there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't
really have to go looking for them. We have a wonderful world that is full of
beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this world looking for the bad,
disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous
things before us?
We are happiest when we see and praise the good and try our best to forget the
bad. Nobody's perfect but we can find perfectness in them to change the way we
see them. We are not trying to condone what is bad. Correction does much, but
encouragement does more. "The blue of heaven is larger than the clouds."
unconditionally allows them to remove their masks and feel at
ease with who they are. The security of being accepted gives
them the freedom to be themselves and then lets them easily know
and accept themselves too. ~unknown