No failure in Life, whether of love or money, is ever really that simple; it usually involves a type of a shadowy betrayal, buried in a secret, mass grave of shared hopes and dreams.

When we realize we have been deeply betrayed, fear really hits us. That's what we feel first. And then it's anger and frustration followed by disappointment and disillusionment.

Betrayal and the failure of love is one of the most powerful stories and subject matters to talk about. Here are some inspiring thoughts about the after effect of betrayal inspired by the writings of Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC

Love is the basic need of human nature, for without it life is disrupted emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. ~Karl

It is bad enough when a stranger or foe betrays us, but when it is someone we believed to be a close and trusted friend, partner, spouse or relative, it is especially hurtful. It might feel like we were taken advantage of, deceived, humiliated, despised, cheated, or stabbed in the back. Oftentimes it comes as a surprise. That is why it is so painful.  

Relationships damaged by betrayal affect our lives forever.  Let us find out why betrayal happens, how it changes relationships, and what we need to know to keep from falling in its trap.

There are many reasons that cause people to betray one another. Sometimes they are very deliberate and intended to hurt the other person. And sometimes they are consequences of choices that are made with no intention of doing any harm to anyone.

Looking out for one’s own best interests can cause some people to disregard relationships they once valued. They may feel the relationship is in the way or not as important anymore. Feelings change. And as feelings change so do one’s actions and choices.

Individuals who feel their needs are not being met in a relationship might feel that the relationship is no longer important or worth investing in. Therefore, they might seek to get their needs met elsewhere. This changes the relationship. Eventually, it grows apart and opportunities for betrayal emerge.


To me, the thing that is worse than death is betrayal. You see, I could conceive death, but I could not conceive betrayal. -―
Malcolm X

Betrayal is a destructive force that leaves many ruins in its path. Betrayal changes everything. Relationships and all those affected will never be the same again. The damage done can be irreparable. Trust is lost. Wounds run deep. Anger persists. Hearts are broken. Self-protective walls are erected. Pain is long and lasting.

And we wonder…. Can trust ever be restored? Do wounds ever heal? Will anger cease to exist? Can hearts be repaired? Will the self-protective walls ever come down? Does the pain ever go away?

Not only does betrayal change relationships, it changes individuals. Something happens inside of them. They might find it difficult to ever trust again. They might be more guarded and protective of themselves for fear of being vulnerable again. They might learn to be more discerning and less naïve.

Their expectations of others may change. They may reflect on their own role and responsibility in the relationship and what went wrong. They might try to understand, empathize, and forgive. They may be motivated to grow from the experience and learn more about themselves and others. 

The pain of betrayal is very real and has a significant impact on the lives of all those who have experienced it. It is one of those painful life experiences that have the power to change people’s hearts and lives forever.

If you have ever been betrayed, you cannot change what has happened to you or make the pain go away. You need time to grieve and feel angry. You need time to be comforted and encouraged. You also need time to restore your faith in yourself and others.  

Betrayal hurts and there is no fast and easy way to heal from its affects. It takes more than time. It takes a heart that will not harden. It takes a commitment to believe in others again. Relationships do change as a result of betrayal; but ultimately, how it changes us is what matters most.

Related page: Analyzing Betrayal

 By Tim Pedrosa



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Tragedy in life normally comes with betrayal and compromise by trading in our integrity and failing to treat life and others in our life, with respect and dignity. That's really where the truest and the most tragic failures comes from... they come making the choice to betray another soul, and in turn, giving up a piece of your own.- José N. Harris

Tim