No failure in Life, whether of love or money, is ever really that simple; it
usually involves a type of a shadowy betrayal, buried in a secret, mass grave of
shared hopes and dreams.
When we realize we have been deeply betrayed, fear really hits us. That's what
we feel first. And then it's anger and frustration followed by disappointment
Betrayal and the failure of love is one of the most powerful stories and subject
matters to talk about. Here are some inspiring thoughts about the after effect
of betrayal inspired by the writings of
Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC
It is bad enough when a stranger or foe betrays us, but when it is someone we
believed to be a close and trusted friend, partner, spouse or relative, it is
especially hurtful. It might feel like we were taken advantage of, deceived,
humiliated, despised, cheated, or stabbed in the back. Oftentimes it comes as a
surprise. That is why it is so painful.
Relationships damaged by betrayal affect our lives forever. Let us find out why
betrayal happens, how it changes relationships, and what we need to know to keep
from falling in its trap.
There are many reasons
that cause people to betray one another. Sometimes they are very deliberate and
intended to hurt the other person. And sometimes they are consequences of
choices that are made with no intention of doing any harm to anyone.
Looking out for one’s own best interests can cause some people to disregard
relationships they once valued. They may feel the relationship is in the way or
not as important anymore. Feelings change. And as feelings change so do one’s
actions and choices.
Individuals who feel their needs are not being met in a relationship might feel
that the relationship is no longer important nor worth investing in. Therefore,
they might seek to get their needs met elsewhere. This changes the relationship.
Eventually, it grows apart and opportunities for betrayal emerge.
Love is the basic need of human nature, for without it life is
disrupted emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. ~Karl
me, the thing that is worse than death is betrayal. You see, I could
conceive death, but I could not conceive betrayal. -―
Betrayal is a destructive force that leaves many ruins in its path. Betrayal
changes everything. Relationships and all those affected will never be the same
again. The damage done can be irreparable. Trust is lost. Wounds run deep. Anger
persists. Hearts are broken. Self-protective walls are erected. Pain is long and
And we wonder…. Can trust ever be restored? Do wounds ever heal? Will anger
cease to exist? Can hearts be repaired? Will the self-protective walls ever come
down? Does the pain ever go away?
Not only does betrayal change relationships, it changes individuals. Something
happens inside of them. They might find it difficult to ever trust again. They
might be more guarded and protective of themselves for fear of being vulnerable
again. They might learn to be more discerning and less naïve.
Their expectations of others may change. They may reflect on their own role and
responsibility in the relationship and what went wrong. They might try to
understand, empathize, and forgive. They may be motivated to grow from the
experience and learn more about themselves and others.
The pain of betrayal is very real and has a significant impact on the lives of
all those who have experienced it. It is one of those painful life experiences
that have the power to change people’s hearts and lives forever.
If you have ever been betrayed, you cannot change what has happened to you or
make the pain go away. You need time to grieve and feel angry. You need time to
be comforted and encouraged. You also need time to restore your faith in
yourself and others.
Betrayal hurts and there is no fast and easy way to heal from its affects. It
takes more than time. It takes a heart that will not harden. It takes a
commitment to believe in others again. Relationships do change as a result of
betrayal; but ultimately, how it changes us is what matters most.
By Tim Pedrosa
Now playing: Knowing You
Tragedy in life normally comes with betrayal and
compromise by trading in our integrity and failing to treat
life and others in our life, with respect and dignity. That's
really where the truest and the most tragic failures comes
from... they come making the choice to betray another soul, and
in turn, giving up a piece of your own.-