The death of a person very dear to us literally changes every single thing in our world going forward: the way we eat, the way we watch TV, our circle of friends, our family life, and our financial status changes. It affects our self-worth, our self-esteem, our confidence, and rhythms, our hobbies and interests, our sense of security, our sense of humor and more. Every single thing changes. We are handed a new life that we never asked for that we don’t particularly want. It is the hardest, most gut-wrenching, horrific, and life-altering of things to live with.

However terrible the situation is, we need to learn to face the adversity, loss, and mortality and channel the hard parts of our life into meaningful action and growth when we have lost someone we

Grief is like living two lives. One is where you pretend that everything is okay, and the other is where our heart silently screams pain.

 do love because we have no other choice. What we do have a choice is how we choose to live. When we are grieving, I have learned that one of the lies that grief tells us is that we are alone. Let us recognize the difference between “THE END” and “AN END”.

I have tried hard to stop resisting the unpleasant feelings and accepted that happiness has nothing to do with feeling good all the time. So how can we transform our collective grief and anxiety? How do we change our approach to life? How do we change how we view death and our own mortality?

If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow.

We need to accept the passing and legacy of that person wholeheartedly. Instead of crying, let us live an inspired, spiritual and happy life like what that person did when he/she was still around. Let us live each day with encouragement knowing that he/she is proud and smiling down on us from Heaven. I have also learned that no person is truly alone. Those who live no more, whom we loved, echo still within our thoughts, our words, and our hearts.

IN MOMENTS OF HEARTBREAKING GRIEF, I DO BELIEVE THAT THE ONLY REASON WE HAVE AN EMPTY SPACE IS BECAUSE WE WERE BLESSED WITH SOMEONE WHO LOVED US SO BEAUTIFULLY, IT OCCUPIED AN ENTIRE PART OF OUR SOUL.

However, our joys will be greater; our love will be fuller because we share moment with someone we do love. One day we will remember how lucky we are to have known the love of that person with wonder not grief.  

Words however kind, cannot mend our heartache but those who care and share our loss wish us comfort and peace of mind. May we find strength in the love of family and in the warm embrace of friends who were there with us during those trying times.

  By Tim Pedrosa