Disappointment is one of life’s most unpleasant experience that
we could have. It is complex as it contains subset of other emotions like anger,
hurt, sadness, and probably many others too subtle to identify.
Sometimes, those emotions are easier to deal with by themselves,
but disappointment can leave us at a loose end. When we are disappointed, we may
not be sure whether we should feel angry, or just impatiently wish that we would
hurry up and get over it. Disappointment can hover at the front of our mind and
grumble at the back, bringing us a grey perspective on life, even if we are
trying to forget about it.
today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams. ~Unknown
Let us learn from what some experts suggest on how to process past disappointment.
One of the hardest things to do in a world where everything is immediate; when
we are all under external pressure and time is a scarce resource, is to just
a feeling of disappointment.
Even at the most difficulties times, such as grieving, on average
we only allow ourselves 1 to 2 weeks off for work, and then we mostly expect to
get back into normality again.
Human beings are not very good at allowing to experience the
emotions in full without trying to speed up the process. It does not mean that
we lock ourselves away for weeks at a time whenever we have been disappointed,
but to be aware of any sense of obligation to just get over it.
The wonderful thing about letting it out is, we are giving
ourselves time to feel what we need to feel; we allow ourselves the space we
needed to experience our feelings of disappointment.
Once we have done that, it becomes much easier to
get some perspective;
we are able to give the situation or individuals involved more room to breathe.
Perhaps the person involved, doesn’t even realize they have done
something to upset us. Giving ourselves space to be as we are, prepares us to
allow the same to other people.
Having a broader perspective than our own view on a particular
situation is always helpful. The critical point is that, we have to mean it
so it will be sincere and lasting.
Disappointment can ripple through to the core of who we are. If we do not know
what our core values are, we may not have a framework to support us when we
For instance, one of our core values is
We need to keep an open heart and be ready to share love and kindness with
others, irrespective of how they might behave, rather than with negativity. We
should remember this core value when someone disappoints us and we feel like
closing and withdrawing.
Knowing our own heart and our values gives us the freedom of
choice. We can choose to be driven by what happens to us, or we can choose to
live in line with our principles. The latter will help us overcome
disappointments and negative situations in a healthy way. The challenge of
disappointment allows us to practice living closer to our values, and stops us
from being swallowed up by it.
human beings, even though we know that some things are bound to happen, we’re
not always willing to accept them.
We have to practice acceptance.
Every time we are disappointed, we feel overwhelmed by our
emotions. We are inclined to withdraw and blame others. Each time, we have to
accept that we will feel these things again.
We have to accept that we will continue to be disappointed, that
it is a part of life, part of being human. We also have to accept that we will
probably continue to struggle to accept this fact, at various points throughout
the rest of our lives.
This is a lifelong challenge and fundamental to dealing with
disappointment. We will be disappointed, we will disappoint, you and I will be
disappointed, and you and I will disappoint. Life will be disappointing but it
Let us practice acceptance and we may suffer less as it is
happening and notice the good things in life more.
Disappointment is a part of life, but all parts of life can help
us grow. We can be present and aware even in the midst of negative emotions and
therefore life more fully.
By Tim Pedrosa
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