have been protected and habitually given whatever they need, develop
an "entitlement mentality" and always consider themselves first.
They put themselves ahead of their accomplishments and many of them do not strive hard at all. If ever they do, it would be at their
these people have been spoon-fed and have become parasites. When their
interest is threatened, they resent and tend to pass on the blame.
They are so engrossed in their own world that they become
vulnerable to the evils of greed, envy, anger, lust etc..
They may achieve good results and maybe successful
for a while, but eventually will not feel a sense of accomplishment
Much of their activities are nothing more than a cheap anesthetic to
deaden the soreness of selfish-anticipation, unchallenging,
seemingly empty life.
is our job as parents to guide our children's behavior,
but it can sometimes be challenging to find the right
balance of love and discipline.
If we happen
to be this kind of protective parent or benefactor, it is time
to ask the question, whether we did/do love or destroy them.
Chan will donate all his money to charity so his son can
earn his own worth. He said: "If he is capable, he can
make his own money. If he is not, then he will just be
wasting my money."
However, there are many
individuals who, in spite of having been nurtured abundantly, have taken advantage of their good fortune;
have carried out and fulfilled successfully the dream of their parents
Most of them turn out to be grateful and generous people; and they
show their gratitude by passing along love and kindness to others in
many loving ways.
Here is a
narrative of a nurtured but grateful son who became aware of his
mother's sacrifice for him after applying for a job and he vowed to
fulfill his mother's aspirations and pass along her kindheartedness to other people.
As the story
goes, one young
academically excellent person went for an interview for a managerial
position in a big company. He passed the first interview; but in
that company, the director did the last interview, and made the
discovered that the youth's academic result was excellent all the
way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research,
never was there a year he did not score. The director asked, "Did
you obtain any scholarship in school?" and the youth answered,
asked, "Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "my mother
worked as cloth cleaner."
requested the youth to show his hands and the youth showed a pair of
hands that was smooth and perfect to the director.
asked, "Did you ever help your mother wash clothes before?" The
youth answered, "never, my mother always wanted me to study and read
more books, furthermore, my mother could wash clothes faster than I
said, I have a request, when you go back today, go and help clean your mother's hand, and then see me tomorrow morning.
felt that the chance of landing the job was high and when he went
back, he happily wanted to clean his mother's hand. His mother felt
strange. With happiness mixed with fear, she showed her hands to the
matter how high we have scaled educationally,
professionally and/or socially, we are a failure if we do
not have a good relationship with our parents.
cleaned his mother's hand slowly and his tears fell as he did that.
It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so
wrinkled, and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some
bruises were so painful that she shuddered when his mother's hands
were cleaned with water.
It was the
first time that the youth realized and experienced that it is this
pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to earn him the
school fees and that the bruises in the mother's hand were the price
that the mother paid for his graduation and academic excellence and
probably his future.
the youth went to the director's office. The director noticed the
tear in the youth's eye and asked: "Can you tell me what you did and
learned yesterday in your house?" The youth answered, "I cleaned my
mother's hands and also finished washing all the remaining clothes."
asked, "Please tell me what you felt." The youth said: "Number 1, I
know what appreciation is now. Without my mother, I would not be
successful today. Number 2, now I know how to work together with my
mother. Only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get
something done. Number 3, I know the importance and value of
said, "This is what I want. I want to recruit a person who can
appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the suffering of
others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as
his only goal in life to be my manager. You are hired."
this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his
subordinates, every employee worked diligently and as a team and the
company improved tremendously. And as you guess correctly, he's on his
way up in the corporate ladder of fame and recognition.
Many of us have fortunate lives, but although we have
been born in fortunate circumstances we tend to take a lot for
granted. We have privileges and benefits, and a much better life
than a good portion of people in the world can ever hope to expect.
There's a lot to be grateful for, a lot to feel gratitude for.
there is a trend to blame our mother for everything that
went wrong in our life. Instead of expressing our
gratitude to her, we focus on what she had done to cause us to suffer. We do not
realize that suffering is a natural thing for human
beings. Of course she is not perfect, she was not
a perfectly enlightened being when she had us, so
naturally there were things she could have improved on.