Resentment is a
common human emotion. We can be resentful of our circumstances or condition in
life, acquaintances, friends, even loved ones; people who we felt have wronged
us, people who have accomplished more than us, even people who try to help us.
Resentment usually goes with
other destructive emotions like envy, hatred, and anger. In fact, resentment is
a byproduct of these emotions if we hang onto them for too long.
Resentment maybe the worst of these sentiments. We may experience a flash
of envy, hatred, or anger and allow ourselves to forgive and let go. But when we
hold onto these destructive feelings, that’s when resentment takes hold.
Resentment can last a lifetime if we allow it.
However, we could
use resentment to fuel us to alter our circumstances or condition and
transform our life for the
better. A big part of that comes from focusing on our
own lives and improving ourselves. Many people use resentment to fill the void
left by their own shortcomings.
I resented being poor; being
invited to parties not as guest but as helper to run errands and to help in the
kitchen. I resented not being able to continue my studies after my elementary
education because of poverty; that while my friends and classmates
continued to high school I had to earn a living at a very young age by selling
newspaper, bread and as jueteng collector.
But then, it
came to a point when I decided to take control of my life, changed course and
stopped worrying about
my circumstances, other people and my perceived
grievances. Instead, I focused on finding ways to make my own life better,
letting go of resentment and finding ways to improve myself by starting high
school after six years away from school by working in a repair shop and later
driving tractor at night in Southern Philippines and going to school the
following day. I did not stop until I obtained a degree with three major
subjects, graduated with flying colors, easily became a CPA and changed my life
for the better.
It is about self-awareness. Some
of us are so used to carrying around our anger and petty jealousies that we
often don’t even recognize resentment in ourselves. We don’t notice the burden
that we’re carrying around every day. Until we learn to recognize that burden,
our resentment will always be holding us back, causing anxiety insides us,
keeping us from finding freedom and happiness.
We should take the
time to identify its source once we recognize our resentment. Does it arise out
of petty jealousy or envy? Did someone offend us, belittle us, neglect us,
steal from us, hurt us? There are times in life when we are genuinely wronged
for no apparent reason, and there are times when we perceive injustices where
both sides are at fault.
Whatever the source
of our resentment, let us understand that there is no place in our life for it.
This can be difficult to do, but we will find that it becomes much easier when
we start focusing on our own personal growth. Instead of entertaining resentful
feeling, we
should ask ourselves what we can do today to improve our life for the better.
Life is a series
of choices. I have learned that sometimes God gives us some challenges to face,
to prepare us for a better life. I should know because I changed course the hard
way in my journey we call life, by creating a path of my own along the way ...and
then, left a
trail... Today, I am very grateful.
