1


Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. What do people gain from all the toil at which they toil under the sun? A generation goes, and a generation comes but the earth remains forever. The Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament reminds us the consequences when we tolerate vanity to govern our lives.

Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us.

We all dream, but not equally. Some of us dream by night in the dusty recesses of our minds, get up in the day to find that it was vanity. But the danger is for the dreamers of the day who may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.

It's not vanity to feel that we have a right to be wanted, attractive, beautiful, pleasing ...... As human, we normally feel we are not good enough, that we must live up to someone else's standards. But if we are sensible and judicious, we should appreciate and be grateful for who we are. Our vanity is such that we hold our own characters unassailable, and we are slow to acknowledge that they have changed, even for the better.

We should learn from the following narrative inspired by the writings of Judy Walden on how she challenged her life-long addiction to vanity. Her story is very familiar and many of us can relate to it but vanity or not, what is more important is, we do not offend anybody and we are enjoying our lives as well.
All of my life, I have believed that I had to look good and preferably great to get any of my wishes met. My charge cards reflected this and every month I would be faced with a large balance since I was constantly shopping for clothes to enhance how I looked. I also shopped to ward off any feelings of dissatisfaction with myself.

It was an immediate high and gave me the confidence that I sorely lacked. But like any addiction, a one-time fix is never enough and then there was the downside of having to pay all the high interest from my charges. But looking good was a constant and never ending challenge.

Forty came and it was time for a little cosmetic work, eyelids lifted, some collagen in that wrinkle between my eyebrows. I never questioned how many hours I had to work to pay for all of this. Heck, I never questioned my quest.

Weight was never a problem in my youth but once I hit fifty, that became a concern and the pounds started coming on. Perhaps realizing that I could not recapture my good looks of an earlier age caused me anxiety which then led to eating in order to feel good. Dieting was hard and a new experience.

An example I often use to illustrate the reality of vanity, is this: look at the peacock; it's beautiful if you look at it from the front. But if you look at it from behind, you discover the truth... Whoever gives in to such self-absorbed vanity has huge misery hiding inside them.-Pope Francis

What am I doing all of this for was a question which suddenly came to my mind. First, I examined my belief that people will like me more if I look good. Then I thought about my friends, some of whom are not slim and some of whom are not pretty. I like them regardless of their appearance and the thought came to me that maybe their liking me had nothing to do with how I look.

When I hit sixty, I began to become frustrated with all the time it takes to do my hair. I don't mind make-up as it takes very little time and effort, but spending a half hour on my hair was work! Just to run out to the grocery store required all this getting ready, and I didn't like having to do so much work to run an errand. Wash and wear hair, that was what I needed so off to the beauty shop for a new short haircut. Initially, I hated it. It wasn't as pretty. Back again to that need.

So what do I want? I want a hairstyle that I can run a brush through. A hairstyle that I can shampoo, comb into place and let it dry naturally without using a blow dryer and a curling iron. What else do I want? I want to feel okay about myself without having to work so hard at it. When I asked these questions, I became more at peace with myself.

I am not advocating this for everyone. However, for me, I am glad to let go of some of the chains of vanity. I still like buying clothes but I no longer shop with a charge card in hand. I questioned whether I would rather buy a new outfit or buy some books and go out to eat with a friend. A face lift, huh unh, I would rather take a vacation. My weight, no, I am not willing to forego good desserts to be model skinny. What you see, is what you get.

Our vanity is hardest hit precisely when our pride is wounded. However virtue would go far if vanity did not keep it company.

Pleasure is a shadow, wealth is vanity, and power a spectacle; but knowledge, wisdom and humility are blissful and delightful, lasting, unlimited in space and indefinite in duration. I have learned that the man with upright life has a guiltless heart, free from all dishonest deeds or thought of vanity.

Yes, magnanimous people have no vanity, they have no jealousy, and they feed on the true and the solid wherever they find it. And, what is more, they find it everywhere.

By Tim Pedrosa


The consciousness of the falsity of present pleasures, and the ignorance of the vanity of absent pleasures, cause inconstancy (unfaithfulness by virtue of being unreliable or treacherous) .-Blaise Pascal

Tim