Vanity of vanities, all is
vanity. What do people gain from all the toil at which they toil under
the sun? A generation goes, and a generation comes but the earth remains
forever. The Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament reminds us the
consequences when we tolerate vanity to govern our lives.
Vanity and pride are different
things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be
proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of
ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us.
We all
dream, but not equally. Some of us dream by night in the dusty recesses
of our minds, get up in the day to find that it was vanity. But the danger
is for the dreamers of the day who may act on their dreams with open
eyes, to make them possible.
It's not vanity to feel that we have a right to be
wanted, attractive, beautiful, pleasing ...... As human, we normally
feel we are not good enough, that we must live up to someone else's
standards. But if we are sensible and judicious, we should appreciate and be grateful for who we are.
Our vanity is such that we hold our own characters
unassailable, and we are slow to acknowledge that they have changed,
even for the better.
We should learn from the
following narrative inspired by the writings of Judy Walden on how she
challenged her life-long addiction to vanity. Her story is very
familiar and many of us can relate to it but vanity or not, what is more important is, we
do not offend anybody and we are enjoying our lives as well.
All of my life, I have believed that I had
to look good and preferably great to get any of my wishes met. My charge
cards reflected this and every month I would be faced with a large
balance since I was constantly shopping for clothes to enhance how I
looked. I also shopped to ward off any feelings of dissatisfaction with
myself.
It was an immediate high and gave me the
confidence that I sorely lacked. But like any addiction, a one-time fix
is never enough and then there was the downside of having to pay all the
high interest from my charges. But looking good was a constant and never
ending challenge.
Forty came and it was time for a little
cosmetic work, eyelids lifted, some collagen in that wrinkle between my
eyebrows. I never questioned how many hours I had to work to pay for all
of this. Heck, I never questioned my quest.
Weight was never a problem in my youth
but once I hit fifty, that became a concern and the pounds started
coming on. Perhaps realizing that I could not recapture my good looks of
an earlier age caused me anxiety which then led to eating in order to
feel good. Dieting was hard and a new experience.
An example I often use to illustrate the
reality of vanity, is this: look at the peacock; it's
beautiful if you look at it from the front. But if you look
at it from behind, you discover the truth... Whoever gives
in to such self-absorbed vanity has huge misery hiding
inside them.-Pope
Francis |
What am I doing all of this for was a
question which suddenly came to my mind. First, I examined my belief
that people will like me more if I look good. Then I thought about my
friends, some of whom are not slim and some of whom are not pretty. I
like them regardless of their appearance and the thought came to me that
maybe their liking me had nothing to do with how I look.
When I hit sixty, I began to become
frustrated with all the time it takes to do my hair. I don't mind
make-up as it takes very little time and effort, but spending a half
hour on my hair was work! Just to run out to the grocery store required
all this getting ready, and I didn't like having to do so much work to
run an errand. Wash and wear hair, that was what I needed so off to the
beauty shop for a new short haircut. Initially, I hated it. It wasn't as
pretty. Back again to that need.
So what do I want? I want a hairstyle
that I can run a brush through. A hairstyle that I can shampoo, comb
into place and let it dry naturally without using a blow dryer and a
curling iron. What else do I want? I want to feel okay about myself
without having to work so hard at it. When I asked these questions, I
became more at peace with myself.
I am not advocating this for everyone.
However, for me, I am glad to let go of some of the chains of vanity. I
still like buying clothes but I no longer shop with a charge card in
hand. I questioned whether I would rather buy a new outfit or buy some
books and go out to eat with a friend. A face lift, huh unh, I would
rather take a vacation. My weight, no, I am not willing to forego good
desserts to be model skinny. What you see, is what you get.
Our vanity is hardest hit precisely when our pride
is wounded.
However virtue would go far if vanity did not keep it
company.
Pleasure is a shadow, wealth
is vanity, and power a spectacle; but knowledge, wisdom and humility are
blissful and delightful, lasting, unlimited in space and indefinite in
duration. I have learned that the man with upright life has a guiltless
heart, free from all dishonest deeds or thought of vanity.
Yes, magnanimous
people have no vanity, they have no jealousy, and they feed on the true
and the solid wherever they find it. And, what is more, they find it
everywhere.
By
Tim Pedrosa
The consciousness of the falsity of present pleasures,
and the ignorance of the vanity of absent pleasures, cause inconstancy (unfaithfulness
by virtue of being unreliable or treacherous)
.-Blaise
Pascal
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