Relationships are like sand held in our hand. When held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute we close our hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through our fingers. We may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. When held loosely with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold it too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.

If we allow bitterness and resentment to get worse inside us or keep on blaming others, it will make our relationships guarded and unsatisfying. By letting go of the frustration, sorrow and negativity, we can keep our spirit open and loving. Remaining open to life, with its constant ups and downs, adventures and opportunities to grow, is the only way to reach our full potential and enjoy life pleasantly and satisfactorily.

When something goes wrong, we should not look back at it for a long time but take the reason into our mind and then look forward. Failure or mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in our power.

As the story goes, the couple in the following narrative tried to deal with their greatest tragedy the best way possible. A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes.

It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.-Daisaku Ikeda

One morning, when the boy was around two years old, the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and put it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to it and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.

When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned; she was terrified. How would she face her husband?

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words. “I love you darling.”

The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he has taken time to put the bottle away, this would not have happened.

Always be mindful of the kindness and not the faults of others.
To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.-Elbert Hubbard

No point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who’s to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know and miss out on the warmth in human relationships we could receive by giving each other support.

After all, shouldn’t forgiving someone we love be the easiest thing in the world to do?

Let us treasure what we have. Let us not multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding onto forgiveness. Let us let go of all our envies, jealousies, unwillingness to forgive, selfishness, and fears and we will find things are actually not as difficult as we think.

We learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; and just so, we learn to love by loving. All those who think to learn in any other way deceive themselves. 

By Tim Pedrosa

Love is like a candle; it leads you in time of darkness, and brightens up your future. Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished. - Unknown Author