Divorce, layoffs, threat of terrorism -- there’s
plenty of anxiety around for everyone these
days. And very often, the source is something we
can’t change. How do you know when it’s time to
get help dealing with your anxieties?
To better understand the
underpinnings of anxiety — and how to better
cope -- WebMD turned to
two anxiety experts: Jerilyn Ross, MA, LICSW,
director of The Ross Center for Anxiety and
Related Disorders, Inc., and Linda Andrews, MD,
assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral
sciences at Baylor College of Medicine in
Houston.
Normal
vs. Harmful Anxiety
The cold sweat of anxiety is that “fight or
flight” response that kept our early relatives
safe from grizzly bears and other scary
characters, says Andrews. “That adrenaline rush
still serves us well under certain
circumstances. Anxiety is a natural reaction to
those very real stresses.”
In today’s world, “that reaction helps motivate
us, prepares us for things we have to face, and
sometimes give us energy to take action when we
need to,” adds Ross. Big job interview is coming
up, and it’s got you in knots. So “you spend a
little more time getting dressed or rehearsing
what you’re going to say,” Ross says. “You’ve
got an appointment with the divorce lawyer, so
you do more homework. That kind of anxiety can
motivate you to do better. It helps you protect
yourself.”
But as we know too well, sometimes it doesn’t
take a specific threat -- only the possibility
of crisis -- to send humans into anxiety mode.
“The difficulty comes in learning to tone down
that automatic response -- to think, ‘How
serious is the danger? How likely is the
threat?’ “says Andrews.
“The thing about anxiety is, it can take on a
life of its own,” she adds. “Everything becomes
a potential crisis. The unthinkable has
happened. So around every corner, there’s the
next possible disaster.”
The Anxiety Toll
When anxiety is taking a toll, your body knows
it. You have trouble sleeping, eating, and
concentrating. You get headaches; your stomach
is upset. You might even have a panic attack --
the pounding heart, a feeling of
lightheadedness.
Anxiety may also feel like
depression. “The two sometimes overlap,” Ross
says. When anxiety becomes so overwhelming that
it interferes with day-to-day activities --when
it keeps you from going places, from doing
things you need to do -- that’s when you need
help, says Ross.
Generalized anxiety disorder is a bigger
syndrome -- “like a worry machine in your head,”
Ross says. “If it’s not one thing, it’s another.
You’re procrastinating to the point that you’re
almost afraid to take a step. You’re so nervous
about going to your child’s school to talk to
the teacher, you just don’t go -- you miss the
appointment.”
In the case of such overwhelming anxiety,
“people are not making good decisions,” says
Ross. “They’re avoiding things, or they’re
unable to rise to the occasion because the
anxiety is too much. They’re procrastinating
because they can’t concentrate, can’t stay
focused. It’s really interfering with their
day-to-day life. At that point, they may have a
more serious anxiety problem and need
professional help.”
Coping With Anxiety
- Change What You
Can, Accept the Rest
To cope with plain-vanilla anxiety, “get real,”
as they say. “Separate out the real risks and
dangers that a situation presents and those your
imagination is making worse,” advises Ross. It’s
a twist on the old adage: “Take
control of the things you can, and accept those
you can’t change.”
“Ask yourself: Where can you take control of a
situation? Where can you make changes? Then do
what needs to be done,” she says. “What things
do you simply have to accept? That’s very
important.”
Very often, it’s possible to get past an anxiety
cycle with the help of friends or family
--someone who can help you sort out your
problems. But when anxiety becomes overwhelming,
it’s time for a therapist, or perhaps
medication.
Here are two strategies that therapists use to
help us conquer anxiety:
Challenge negative thoughts.
Ask yourself: Is this a productive thought? Is
it helping me get closer to my goal? If it’s
just a negative thought you’re rehashing, then
you must be able to say to that thought: ‘Stop.’
“That’s difficult to do. but it’s very
important,” Ross says.
Rather than becoming paralyzed with anxiety,
here’s another message you can send yourself: “I
may have to take a job I don’t like as much, may
have to travel further than I want, but I’ll do
what I have to do now. At least I will have the
security of income in the short term. Then I can
look for something better later.”
The most important thing: “to realize when
you’ve done everything you can, that you need to
move forward,” Ross says.
Learn to relax.
You may even need “breathing retraining,” Ross
adds. “When people get anxious, they tend to
hold their breath. We teach people a special
diaphragmatic breathing -- it calms your system.
Do yoga, meditation, or get some exercise.
Exercise is a terrific outlet for anxiety.”
Most of all, try not to compound your problems,
adds Andrews. “When things are bad, there is a
legitimate reason to feel bad,” she says. “But
if you don’t deal with it, you’re going to lose
more than just a job -- you’ll lose
relationships, your self confidence, you could
even lose technical abilities if you stay
dormant in your profession.
Try not to compound one stress by adding
another."
Often your ability to work through anxiety - get
past it --varies depending on the type of crisis
you face. "The more severe, the more surprising
it was, the longer it's going to take to get
over it," says Andrews. "You may be on autopilot
for several weeks. If you're depressed, that can
complicate things. In the case of divorce, it
may take months to years to really get back to
yourself." But take heart. "If you're doing will
in one aspect of your life -- in your work or
your relationships -- you're probably on your
way," she says. "Fear and anxiety are no longer
running your life."
Now
playing: Against All Odds
Worry is like a
rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won’t get you
anywhere. Worry
is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
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Tim
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