Nature has something to teach us why there might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds. We might ask, why would we need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees. It's telling us that most seeds never grow. So if we really want to make something happen, we better try more than once.  

This might mean that we may have to attend twenty interviews to get one job; interview forty people to find one good employee; talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, insurance policy, or idea; and we might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.

When we understand the Law of the Seed, we don't get so disappointed; we stop feeling like victims; laws of nature are not things to take personally; we just need to understand them and work with them.

In a nutshell, successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds. When things are beyond our control, it is a recipe for permanent misery if we decide to think how the world should be and make rules for how everyone should behave; then, when the world doesn't obey our rules, we are angry! That's what miserable people do!

Let's say we expect that:

   Friends should return favors.
   People should appreciate us.
   Planes should arrive on time.
   Everyone should be honest.
   Our spouse should remember our birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So we end up frustrated and disappointed. There's a better strategy. Have less demands. Instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond our control, let us tell ourselves to prefer A, but if B happens, it's OK too!

This is really a game that we should play in our head. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives us more peace of mind. We prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin our day. We prefer sunshine ... but rain is ok!

To become happier, we either need to change the world, or change our thinking. It is easier to change our thinking!

In a nutshell, it's not what happens to us that determines our happiness. It's how we think about what happens to us.

By Tim Pedrosa

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. He who bends well, ends well!