Let's give the people we love more of our presence instead of more presents.
People
will forget what we said, what we gave or what we did, but they
will never forget how we made them feel. Let's learn from the following
article shared by Joe Gatuslao.
A man going
abroad to work leaves his fiancee crying. "Don't
worry, I will write you everyday," he said.
For years he did
write her. But since he was happy with his job,
he had no immediate plans of going home.
One day, he
received a wedding invitation. His girl friend
was scheduled to be married. To whom? To the
mailman bringing regularly the letters of her
boy friend! Indeed, distance does make hearts
flounder.
The poor
boyfriend surely wondered, "What went wrong? I
sent her letters, chocolates, and flowers."
When
relationships go wrong, the list of things given
and done for the person usually crops up. We
say, "I have given you this and that... I have
done these things for you." It seems that love
is simply proven by the bestowal of gifts and
favors.
But while
presents are important, love demands what is
basic: presence of the beloved. I have observed
for instance, the orchids of my mother. When
she's away for a long time, they are unhealthy
and many of them wither. But when she is around,
they bloom with beautiful flowers. My mother
does nothing exceptional. She just spends much
time talking and caressing them.
I guess persons
all the more require a caring presence. Love is
fundamentally a commitment to a person. We may
be committed to our business, job, hobby, sports
and clubs, but strictly speaking, they cannot
love us back. Only a person can love us in
return, and for that matter the highest
commitment as human beings is spending time with
those persons we love. And since people need
affection and nourishment, material things can
only help up to a certain degree in fostering
love. But it can never replace the greatest gift
of presence.
Martha was busy
with her job. She believed she had to work
harder because she loves her father who is sick
of cancer. She has to provide for his expensive
medicines. Her brothers and sisters meanwhile
stayed with their father most of the time. They
bathed him, sang for him, spoon-fed him or
simply kept him company.
One day Martha
was hurt. She overheard her father telling her
mother, "All our children love me except
Martha."
"How can this
be?" Martha thought. "Am I not the one killing
myself in my work to have money to buy for his
medicines? My brothers and sisters do not even
provide their share in the expenses as much as I
do."
One night, as
Martha was as usual late in going home, she
peeped for the first time in the room where her
father was lying. She noticed that her father
was still awake. She decided to come close at
his bedside.
Her father held
her hands and said, "I miss you. I don't have
much time. Stay with me." And she stayed with
her father holding his hand the whole night.
The next morning
Martha said to everybody, "I have taken a leave
of absence. I would like to be with father. I
will bathe him and sing for him from now on."
Her father had a
beautiful smile. He knew this time Martha loves
him.
As children, we
need the assuring presence of our loved ones.
Adult people need no less.
Now Playing: All By Myself
The world is
full of beauty when hearts are full of love.
If
you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be
happy, practice compassion.-The
Dalai Lama
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Tim
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