Happiness is inward and not outward; and so it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are. True happiness lies within us. Let's waste no time and effort searching for peace, contentment and joy in the world outside. There is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving, reach out, share, smile, hug. Let's reflect from the following story inspired by the writings of Carlos Rangel Santiago de Querétaro, translated into English by Paul Cushman.

During an elegant welcoming reception for the new Director of Marketing of an important London company, the wife of the director was asked by another wife whether her husband makes her happy. The husband, who at the moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secured, even filling his chest lightly in pride, knowing that his spouse would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage. Nevertheless, to both his and the others’ surprise, she replied simply: “No, no he doesn’t make me happy...

The room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to the spouse’s response. The husband was petrified. He couldn’t believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him. To the amazement of her husband and of everyone, she simply placed enigmatically on her head an elegant black silk scarf and continued: "No, he doesn’t make me happy …I am happy. The fact that I am happy or not, doesn’t depend on him, but on me.

I am the only person upon which my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life. If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble! Everything that exists in this life changes continually: humans, wealth, my body, the climate, pleasures, etc. I could enumerate an infinite list…

Over my life I have learned a couple of things. I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of 'experiences or circumstances': like helping, and understanding, accepting, listening, consoling; and with my spouse, I have lived and practiced this many times….Happiness will always be found in forgiveness and in loving yourself and others.

It’s not the responsibility of my spouse to make me happy... He also has his 'experiences or circumstances'. I love him and he loves me, inspite of his circumstances and of mine. He changes, I change, the environment changes, everything changes. Having forgiveness and true love, and observing these changes, that can be, big or small, but always happen, we must face them with the love that exists in each one of us.

If the two of us love and forgive each other, the changes will only be 'experiences or circumstances' that enrich us and give us strength. Otherwise we would only be 'living together'.

For some, divorce is the only solution; (..in reality it is the easiest..) To truly love is difficult. It is to forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the “experiences or circumstances” as they are, facing them together and being happy with conviction.

There are those who say: 'I cannot be happy because I am sick, because I have no money, because it’s too cold, because they insulted me, because someone stopped loving me, because someone didn’t appreciate me!'

But what we don’t know is that, we can be happy even though we are sick,whether it is too hot, whether we have money or not; whether someone has insulted us, or someone didn’t love us, or hasn’t valued  us.

Being happy is an attitude about life and each one of us must decide! Being happy, depends on us!"


A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.