is inward and not outward; and so it does not depend on what we have,
but on what we are. True happiness lies within us. Let's waste no time and effort searching
for peace, contentment and joy in the world outside. There is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving, reach out,
share, smile, hug. Let's reflect from the following story inspired by
the writings of
Santiago de Querétaro, translated into English by Paul Cushman.
During an elegant welcoming reception for the new Director
of Marketing of an important London company, the wife of the
director was asked by another wife whether her husband makes her
happy. The husband, who at the
moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the
question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly,
feeling secured, even filling his chest lightly in pride, knowing
that his spouse would answer affirmatively, since she had always
been there for him during their marriage. Nevertheless, to both his
and the others’ surprise, she replied simply:
“No, no he doesn’t make me
room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to
the spouse’s response. The husband was petrified. He couldn’t
believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important
occasion for him. To the amazement of her husband and of everyone,
she simply placed enigmatically on her head an elegant black silk
scarf and continued: "No, he doesn’t make me happy …I
am happy. The fact that I am
happy or not, doesn’t depend on him, but on me.
I am the
only person upon which my happiness depends. I make the choice to be
happy in each situation and in each moment of my life. If my
happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or
circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious
trouble! Everything that exists in this life changes continually:
humans, wealth, my body, the climate, pleasures, etc. I could
enumerate an infinite list…
Over my life I have learned a
couple of things. I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of 'experiences or circumstances': like helping, and understanding,
accepting, listening, consoling;
and with my spouse, I have lived and practiced this many
times….Happiness will always be found in forgiveness and in loving
yourself and others.
the responsibility of my spouse to make me happy... He also has
his 'experiences or circumstances'. I love him and he loves me,
inspite of his circumstances and of mine. He changes, I
change, the environment changes, everything changes. Having
forgiveness and true love, and observing these changes, that can be,
big or small, but always happen, we must face them with the love
that exists in each one of us.
If the two of us love and forgive
each other, the changes will only be 'experiences or circumstances'
that enrich us and give us strength. Otherwise we would only be
For some, divorce is the only
solution; (..in reality it is the easiest..)
To truly love is difficult.
It is to
forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the “experiences or
circumstances” as they are, facing them together and being happy
those who say: 'I cannot be happy because I am sick, because I have
no money, because it’s too cold, because they insulted me, because
someone stopped loving me, because someone didn’t appreciate me!'
But what we
don’t know is that, we can be happy even though we are sick,whether
it is too hot, whether we have money or not; whether someone has
insulted us, or someone didn’t love us, or hasn’t valued us.
Being happy is an attitude about life and each one of us must
decide! Being happy, depends on us!"