Taking a little time to examine our lives at present can be both revealing and helpful. It can show us how to make more of everyday, help us to reduce our stress levels, or allow us to refocus on the things that are really important to us.

It is convenient and easy to just go along with life, although perhaps we have a vague feeling that this is not the way we expected life to be. We may even feel so overwhelmed by the demands on our time that anything else seems impossible.

We normally do not take the time to step back and think about the life we are leading nor the relationships we have created. Oftentimes, we are busy juggling work, family, relationship and other commitments. However learning to be aware of how we think and feel can help us look at our lives in new a perspective.

We may start by asking, what is actually happening in our lives now. By keeping the answer to this question a specific description of what is happening now, not what we think might be happening, we will have a clearer picture of our present circumstances. For instance: ‘Life is really good’ or ‘I lose my temper and say things I regret later.’

By asking the question what is not happening, we often revolve more around what is not happening rather than what is actually taking place. For example: ‘I’m not standing up for myself’ or ‘I’m not seeing my parents as much as I would like.’ This question can be used to highlight positive things too, for instance: ‘I’m not smoking anymore.’

Distinguishing between thought, feeling and action is an important aspect of self-awareness. When our senses perceive something, we react by thinking; those thoughts create our physical and emotional response. This leads to whatever action we take. While we are experiencing this, it all seems to happen at once, but the process can be separated. Changing our perceptions and how we think about a situation inevitably changes how we feel and then what we do in response.

Our feelings are product of the way we are thinking. For instance, we maybe in the same situation with some people we know, exposed to the same amount of problem and stress, but each has a different level of experience. Some may feel resignation and sadness; other may feel frustrated and hurt while one may feel calm and composed.

Whatever each is thinking and feeling does not change the situation. This is why it is important that we take responsibility for our feelings and thoughts rather than assume that they are caused by someone or something outside of us. It may seem as though someone else is making us feel what we feel, but this is not really so. Although we could and should hold others accountable for their behavior towards us, we cannot blame them for how we are feeling.

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us , but by how we think and react to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive thinking causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, feelings, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.

By Tim Pedrosa

Tim