Sometime it is not so much
what we say as the manner in which we say it. Sometimes it is not so much the language
we use as the tone in which we convey it. Whether we know it or not, whether we mean it or care,
gentleness, kindness, love and hate, envy, anger, are there.
What is the greatest weakness in most families? According to Dr. James
H. Bossard, a former professor of sociology at the University of
Pennsylvania who spent 40 years probing what he called “neglected areas
of family life,” it is the way parents talk in front of their children.
After studying extensive recordings of table talk, he discovered a real
pattern in the [mealtime] conversation of families. To his amazement He
found that family after family had definite, consistent conversational
habits, and that the critical pattern was the most prevale
nt.
“These families
rarely had a good word to say about anyone. They carped continuously
about friends, relatives, neighbors—almost every aspect of their lives,
from the lines of people in the supermarket to the stupidity of their
bosses.”
“This constant negative family atmosphere had a disastrous effect on the
children, because a high percentage of [these families’] children were
antisocial and unpopular.
And
this pattern of the family’s hostility many times turned to quarreling
amongst themselves. Without fail, their meals were a round of insults
and bickering. The children absorbed that pattern, and it caused the
children trouble.”
“Long ago,” Dr. Bossard
continued, “a great Teacher pointed out that what comes out of the mouth
is a great deal more important than that which goes in to it.”
That Teacher was Jesus, and
that wisdom is found in
Matthew 15:11.
“Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which
cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.”
Jesus also said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks”
(Matthew 12:34). If your soul is superficial, egotistical, and mean, all
those qualities are going to permeate your words as they flow from your
lips. But
if the Holy Spirit has control, the words you speak will be filled with
divine light, just as Christ is light (John 1:4; 8:12).
So the root of the
problem isn’t actually the tongue, but the heart. Words only convey
what’s in the heart.
Jesus taught that our words reveal our heart’s character. “A good man
out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an
evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things”
(Matthew 12:35).
There is no way under
the sun to change the quality of our words except to change the spirit
from which those words flow.
There has to be a change of heart.
If you need such
a change of heart,
begin by praying,
“Create in me a clean
heart, O God, and renew a right
spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10).
Then as you spend time with Him, the fountain of all goodness and
kindness and gentleness, you’ll soon find your words to be conductors of
His Spirit, making you a greater influence for good in the lives of
those nearest and dearest to you.
By Tim Pedrosa
|
I
think today the world is upside down, and is suffering so much because
there is so very little love in the home, and in family
life. We have no time for our children, we
have no time for each other, there is no time to enjoy each
other.
- Mother Teresa |
