Worry is with us not because we are
not good at stopping it, but simply because
it’s part of being human. What matters is not whether good or bad things
happen, both will, but our attitude towards them.
There are things that
we
cannot change by worrying, but we can ruin the present by worrying over
the unknown.
Let's not be anxious about anything... If we fill our heart with
fear and regrets, we have no today to be
thankful for. So let's be happy. This is the day the Lord has made, let's enjoy, be glad in it. Here are some wonderful thoughts to
reflect, derived from a forwarded email.
Is there an
imaginary cutoff period when children become accountable for their
own actions? Is there some wonderful moment when parents can become
detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, 'It's
their life,' and feel nothing?
When I was in my 20s, I stood in a hospital corridor
waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter's head and
I asked,
'When
do you stop worrying?' The nurse said, 'When they get out of the
accident stage...' My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my 30s, I sat on a little chair in a
classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly,
disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license
plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, 'Don't worry, they
all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy
them.' My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my 40s, I spent a lifetime waiting for
the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A
friend said, 'They're trying to find themselves. 'Don't worry! In a
few years, they'll be adults. 'They'll be off on their own they'll
be out of your hair.'
My Parents just smiled faintly And said nothing.
By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of
being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there
was a new wrinkle... Even though they were on their own, I continued
to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations
and absorbed in their disappointments...and there was nothing I
could do about it. My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.
My friends said that when my kids got married I
could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that,
but I was haunted by my parent's warm smiles and their occasional,
'You look pale. Are you all right' ? 'Call me the minute you get
home'. Are you depressed about something?'
My friends said that when I became a grandparent
that I would get to enjoy the happy little voices yelling Grandma!
Papa! But now I find that I worry just as much about the little kids
as the big ones. How can anyone cope with all this worry?
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime
of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to
blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is
concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest
form of earthly creation?
Recently, one of my own children became quite
irritable, saying to me, 'Where were you? I've been calling for 3
days, and no one answered I was worried.' I smiled a warm smile. The
torch has been passed.
By Tim Pedrosa